sexy back!! day 6

fuckin' right, you are

i guess it would be an understatement that today got off to a bad start. BF and i got into a bit of a fight last night, but because of overtraining and/or pms, i was too tired to argue and my guard was down. all i could do was cry. so he left, and came back some time while i was asleep. i guess it was probably the best thing he could have done, now that i think about it. if he would have pushed me any farther, i think i would have thrown something at his head despite my exhaustion. strangely, he was uncharacteristically sweet this morning. this is NOT him. he's usually a cranky assbag in the morning, and even more so if we've been arguing. ehh, i don't know how the fuck his stupid man brain works and frankly, i don't give a fuck.

asshat of epic proportions

anyway, this morning was a rough one. i felt ok physically, but i was sad and my feelings were hurt. my eyes were constantly leaking tears, as much as i tried to put on a happy face for the sake of the kids. i basically had a bad case of the "fuckits". i wasn't going to work out at all, and just say i was overtrained. but, despite the asshattery i was exposed to last night, once he was gone, i had slept like a baby and woke up well-rested. no knee pain, not much soreness from yesterday's extra ab work. i moped around for a bit, and was going to just go back to bed. THEN i realized what i was doing, and i got fucking PISSED. who the fuck is HE to put me in a goddamned funk with his dumb ass fucking bullshit? why the fuck should i let him win, by locking my ass in the bedroom and being a big, fat, whiny fucking depresso cuntbag? what the fuck would that prove? really, i'd only be fucking myself over. i doubted he'd lose any sleep over upsetting me so much that i said "fuck it" and skipped a day, so why would i fucking punish myself for HIS case of fucktarditis? 

yeah, i was fucking LIVID. i got so mad, that i had to just crank the tunes and scrub the fuck right out of the kitchen. when that was all done, i slapped my insanity disc into the dvd player and GOT SHIT DONE. today was plyometric cardio circuit {one of my faves}, and i really pushed through and dug deeper than ever. by the end of the so-called warm-up {pfft warm up-more like a fucking ass whooping!}, my head was clear, and i wasn't carrying anymore toxic thoughts. i kept going and really pushed myself to my absolute limits, with nothing in my mind but the way my muscles were burning in protest. i didn't mind the burn and i didn't slow down or take a break like i usually do; i savoured that fucking burn, every second of it, until the sweat was pouring and my whole body was trembling. then the workout was over and it was time for the cool down. this is usually the part of the workout that i look forward to, even yearn for, but i was oddly disappointed. adrenaline maybe? premenstrual psychotic bitch power? then i noticed baby playing with some empty protein jugs {i clean them out and give them to her to stack. strangely, they are a bigger hit than all of her blocks and shit}, and realized with a jolt that i HAD NOT TAKEN ANY PRE-WORKOUT SUPPS!! so i bolted to the kitchen to mix my protein drink and take my assortment of pills. at the back of my mind, i was thinking, "how the fuck did i manage all THAT without my usual pre-workout cocktail?" and hoping that i wouldn't feel like dog shit that had been stepped on and run over twice once the post-workout high had worn off.

as of now, it's been about 4 hours since my workout, and i feel ok. i'm definitely sore and i think it will be worse tomorrow, but i can live with that. i had a half hour nap, during which BF brought me a sandwich and coffee in bed, and i feel loads better than i did this morning. i'm still sour at that fucker though. i'm not too keen on being spoken to the way he spoke to me last night, and even though he has been kissing my ass so much today that he's practically shoulders deep, i don't feel any overwhelming need to make up. that being said, i might just hate fuck him tonight, for purely selfish purposes. no need for me to suffer due to his fucktarditis; and quite frankly, nothing seems to clear up muscle soreness like a good old fashioned orgasm. lol


tomorrow is rest and recovery day. also, the kids FINALLY go back to school after march break. PRAISE THE LAWWDDD!!! i plan on getting #3 up nice and early, so that she will nap nice and early and i can catch a few zzz's too before the boys get off the bus. maybe after school, we'll take the dogs for a walk or something. in any case, i'm looking forward to it.


XD